The Complexity of Simple Love

What is love? If ten persons were randomly selected to answer this question, each would give a response relating to their perception of what love is. The truth is there is no single simple definition of the word “LOVE”. The complexity of this simple word called love is what makes it more valuable. It is the complexity of the word that adds to its value. So, what is LOVE?

Love is a feeling. A feeling that you can never somehow find the right words to describe. Love is the racing of your heart when that special someone is around you. Love is not forced. Love is action not something simply said. Simply saying I love you is not love. You can say it but you do not have to mean it..

You know that you love someone if when you pray, you pray for that someone more than you do for yourself. You know that it is love, if you can without hesitation sacrifice your way of life to be with that person. (Compromise) You are in love I you can die to yourself; forsaking your needs to include that of you partner.

Love is like your faith and belief in God. Love is not selfish. It is always kind. You know that you love someone when amidst all the confusion and bustling of a busy work day, even if it’s just for a split second, that special someone face dashes across your mind and a warm smile fills your heart making you know that you are his/hers as he/she is yours.  Love is understanding, patient and never boastful. Love is wanting the best your partner. If you love someone you should love them for who they are not what you want them to be. It is not trying to change that person. There must be some meeting point. Love is supporting that someone, walking every step of the way with them until they have soared beyond the stars.

Love is like a spider’s web. It starts out small but then develops into something so complex and beautiful. And that is the complexity of simple love.

Friends with Benefits

The phrase so commonly used by many to describe a relationship whereby a friendship is in existence for the beneficial interests that it provides for one or both parties. Many persons, both male and female alike, enter into these relationships for sexual pleasures. Sexual pleasures may be a trade-off for monetary gain for many women. A “friend with benefits’ relationship is deemed to be one that involves no attachments; there are no obligations to fulfill. Think again people! Consider this scenario: You are in a relationship for financial gain but you have to sleep with your beneficial friend in order to get that MONEY. Or you spend your money to receive that mind blowing, toes cracking, out of this world sex. What is the attachment in both scenarios? Clearly, in the former, attached to monetary gain is SEX. Whereas, in the latter, stapled to the receipt of sex is the money you had to spend for it. 

However, if one party does not know that he or she is involved in a ‘friends with benefits’ relationship then there is no obligations to fulfill. What I mean is this: if I am with Johnny for his money and I do not exchange sex for it, then clearly there is no string attached to the receiving of that money from Johnny.

Now ponder on this: What if you are currently in a ‘friends with benefits’ relationship but it is under the disguised of a “boyfriend-girlfriend” relationship?  Now you may be thinking: how could I not have noticed?  Well, maybe you were blinded by his faked charisma. Maybe, you were even hypnotized when he stared into your eyes creating that you are his as he is yours type of atmosphere. Or maybe, just maybe, you were caught between a rock and a hard place because of the way she makes your eyes roll back when she performs oral sex that sends shock waves through your body. Whatever the reasons for not looking into the mirror of reality, STOP AND CONSIDER:

Ladies: When you call him for sex is he readily available? Does he find time out of that very hectic schedule to come screw you? Do you seldom see him when it does not involve sex? Does he fail to text you back when you ask him to come see you to just hang out? Or does he ignore your calls when he does not want sex? If the answer to these questions is YES, then my evidently you are being used like a condom (put in to F**k, discard after use). You are not wife material. You are more like FOOD: EAT, DIGEST and DISCARD as WASTE.

Men: If your girl, only calls you when she wants money, or would like you to purchase something for her or even do something for her, REALITY CHECK: she does not care about you or your penis. She WANTS your MONEY not you. You just provide her with benefits, that is all there is to it. She does NOT want a PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP. It is more like sex me and give me your money. Though, I will call that being PROSTITUTION (selling sex for money) others may beautify it with the term ‘friends with benefits’. According to William Shakespeare, “A rose by any other name, is still a rose”.

If you know that you want a STEADY boyfriend-girlfriend relationship, do not get tangled in the web of the ‘friends with benefits’ spider.